It’s a lonely feeling
Recently I started to read a book by Amy Tan,"The Kitchen God’s Wife". I came across an interesting chapter which I could totally relate to.One of the main character was complaining how her absent-minded friend can leave some important or big events memories that impacted on others,behind.They were war buddies,during the China and Japanese wartime.She remembers her friend came and save her once during a warning given by the Japaneses,at the city of Nanking.She never did thanks her then and after many years later she remembered and wanted to thanks her, but unfortunately her friend claimed that she remembers nothing but the duck kidneys she ate there once, like it was nothing worth to keep in her mind.Meanwhile this main character remembers everything, happy and sad ones, the ones nobody else remembers them.That, the character claimed it’s a very lonely feeling.
That last sentence struck me while reading the chapter.I could totally relate to that!Example, my brother who came back from the States,turned to a different person.He claimes he has some sort of amnesia,certain things he can’t remember especially things that happened during his childhood.And that really hurts me to hear that as most of those childhood times includes me, having fun with him, being the big brother to his sister.To say he can’t remember the time he thought me how to catch ants, freeze them in a bottle so they can be still and be drawn,how I learn to ride a bicycle from him..all those memories that only to be known by both of us,and only I remembers them..yes..It’s a lonely feeling.
It’s a very lonely feeling when the only person you think could understand or see the same wave lenght as you about issues of life, is not someone who can be with you 24/7.You tried explaining yourself to others who is around you often and they just dun get you, thinking you are just too deep and complex…yes indeed it’s a very lonely feeling…
