The winding road that I called “Life”

It has been bout a week plus since I moved my seat at work. My AMO is currently on her maternity leave and my seat was taken by another fellow colleague for a cross-training.Thus she needed to be closer to another colleague to learn things…Ever since I moved, I think my fengshui been slightly better, slightly less stress, mainly because I dont get much errors and scoldings from my AP, now that she has to concentrated on teaching the other colleague..another reason, I’m away from another indian colleague who has a peculiar personality, which I shall not emphasize on it too much. SO..I guess things been good to me lately…even better if I ever going to hear from companies which I requested for jobs..

Hey y’all!Just out of curiousity, I would like to have some feedback on these questions that left my mind pondering. A friend of mine told me that there is a difference between "I like you as a friend" and "I love you as a friend".

Most of the time I heard people said, "I love you as a friend", and it didnt occurred to me until now that there is probably a slight difference. I came with a conclusion that statement sounded more of a negative feel rather than a possitive one with "I like you as a friend." It sounded like as if the person is abit pretentious or doubting his or her feelings for you. What do y’all think? I think we heard that statement often before that we sort of take it for granted, without giving it much of a thought.

Ever pay a visit to the land of tears?Ever wondered what tears are all about?Tears can be tears of joy, happy, sad, depression, lonely..lately I been visiting that place one too many time..I dont think I ever have any experience with tears of joy before..often my tears were based on mainly depression..heck!Sometimes they just come without any reasons.

But I do know lately my tears were due to stress and frustration..small matters seem big to me then..Mainly maybe im truly really unhappy with my work.I can only wait and wait ’till I get an offer somewhere else before I can leave this work away.I know it doesn’t guarantee me that I won’t be encountering hardship in my new work, but at least then I know could learn from something totally new and not seem stuck in this one.It’s truly strange about tears…it hurts when we cry but after that you sort of feel burden been lifted off awhile from your shoulders..Indeed it’s such a secret place,in land of tears.

Im going to start a list of things I really hate at the moment in my life.I know and believe that the word "hate" is such a strong word to use for describing a feeling, but I gave up. At the moment, there isn’t another word could replace that feeling. I will be adding on to the list from time to time.

1. I REALLY HATE the word/name Linggam!(one of my superiors)
2. I hate being pressured
3. I hate myself for being so nice, always feel like it’s a must that I could pleased everybody in this entire universe!
4. I hate hypocrate, and even worse when I do find myself like that in some situations.
5. I hate when people play games with love.
6. I hate the fact that love has to be complicated and bittersweet experience.
7. I truely hate my work at the moment.
8. I hate the fact that we live in such a materialistic country and culture. I hate the fact that we can’t really stop for awhile to smell the flowers because if we do, we will get left behind.
9. I hate myself, for being abit lazy, lacking of initiative in things, for being so god damn pestimistic!For being indecisive in things, for being pretencious at times because I always put others’s feeling first than mine, ending getting myself disappointed and hurt.
10. I hate my conscious! It won’t let me be mean or wrong for awhile without coming to hunt me later.
11. I hate my life at the moment where my social life has plugged to the bottom pits!
12. I hate when I’m on my PMS ‘coz I get emotional outburst easily!
13. I hate the fact that God created us males and females so differently that we ended up making each other lives completely mess and miserable!